Resilience Is Not Built in Easy Times – Lessons From a Life of Change

Resilience is talked about everywhere these days – especially when life feels uncertain, demanding, or constantly changing.

But resilience is not a personality trait you are born with.
And it is not something you can download, learn overnight, or fake your way through.

Most often, resilience is described as psychological flexibility – the ability to adapt, recover, and continue even when life does not go according to plan. It is something we grow into, shaped by our environment, relationships, and experiences. And yes – it can be learned.

I recently took a resilience test that looks at seven dimensions: adaptability, perseverance, self-reliance, self-discipline, optimism, creativity, and humor. The result was high, which didn't surprise me, as I've come to know myself quite well over the years.  but what truly mattered was not the number.

What mattered was this question:
How did these skills grow in me in the first place?

Adaptability – Growing Up in Constant Change

My childhood was shaped by movement.
We changed towns often. With every move came a new school, new surroundings, and the quiet grief of leaving friends behind.

Stability was not something I could rely on – so adaptability became a necessity.

That same pattern continued into adulthood. I moved again, many times. Changed environments. Changed jobs. Searched not only for the right place, but for myself – and for a relationship that truly felt like home.

Change requires energy. Often much more than staying still.
But when staying still is not an option – you learn.

Today, I adapt quickly to new environments. I trust myself in unfamiliar situations. And with every change, my confidence has quietly grown.

Perseverance – Listening to an Inner Vision

For more than three years, one question followed me everywhere:
"What do I honestly want to be and do, when I really listen to myself? 

I explored the digital world. I invested in courses. I paid my "tuition fees" – not only in money, but in time, hope, and energy. Some of those paths did not align with my values. I realized I cannot build a living from something that feels ethically wrong to me.

Perseverance, for me, has not been about pushing harder at any cost.
It has been about listening – again and again – to what resonates.

Reality matters, too. We all need to earn a living.
But compromises that go against your core values are rarely sustainable.

Sometimes perseverance looks like moving forward.
And sometimes it is stopping – and trusting that clarity will come.

Self-Reliance – Learning to Stand on My Own

Self-reliance was something I learned early in life.
I had to figure things out on my own, solve problems, and keep going.

Over time, my understanding of self-reliance deepened. For me, it is not only about coping independently, but about wanting to understand how things connect. How systems work. How organizations function as a whole.

That is why I believe no question is ever useless. Asking questions is not a weakness – it is a way of learning, participating, and seeing the bigger picture. More often than not, the person being asked appreciates it too.

True resilience lives somewhere between independence and curiosity: knowing when to try on your own, and when to ask – not because you must, but because you want to understand.

Self-Discipline – Not Perfection, but Commitment

Self-discipline, for me, is not emotional control at all times. I allow myself to feel, to react, and to stand by my boundaries. When something truly matters to me and gives me happy vibes, discipline comes naturally.

Whether it is movement practices like Pilates or line dancing, or building something meaningful from the ground up, I am patient, committed, and consistent. 

Even when motivation is low. Even when the path is unclear. I keep going.

Optimism – Trusting the Process

Optimism, for me, is not about expecting life to be easy or outcomes to be perfect.
It is about trusting that things unfold as they are meant to — and that challenges appear to teach something essential along the way.

I have learned to believe that things tend to work out, one way or another.
Not always in the way I imagined, but often in the way I needed.

Worrying about the future has never truly protected anyone from disappointment.
The future does not exist yet.
What exists is this moment — and the choice to meet it with trust rather than fear.

Creativity and Humor – Finding Light Again

Creativity has always been one of my strongest tools.
It allows me to look at problems from new angles, to imagine alternatives, and to refuse ready-made solutions that don't feel right.

 Humor, on the other hand, disappeared for a while — when I lost touch with myself. But I know that as I find my way back to who I am, humor finds its way back too. 

But situational humor never fully left, though it has been hiding, too.
It lives in awareness, in quick responses, in playing with words — and in the ability to gently lighten a moment.
Not to hide pain. But to breathe. 

What Resilience Has Taught Me

Resilience is not about never breaking.
It is about learning how to navigate life — to face challenges, solve problems, and keep choosing to live fully. 

And this is why I believe something deeply important:

Children need space.
Space to fail.
Space to solve problems on their own.
Space to grow strong – in their own way.

Resilience is not taught through instructions.
It is learned by living – and it makes living lighter.

Wishing you all a meaningful and rewarding New Year 2026.

Love 💛,

Liisa 

- FlingFlow -